One of the most difficult things about “the struggle” (pick your topic – decision-making, waiting, emotional turmoil, change) is when you’ve heard all there is to hear and you feel like you’ve learned all there is to learn. And then you’re wondering – “Now what?”. You’ve talked to your friends, prayed your heart out, read the Bible, and sought out trusted resources like the links I post here. However, you’re still struggling. Maybe the emotions have sorted themselves out a bit and perhaps the pain has dimmed a little. But it’s still there and you’re looking at it and thinking – “What am I supposed to do now? God, what do you want from me now? Can you help a girl out a little? I mean, I think I’ve learned my lesson. I’ve talked to you about it for what feels like a hundred times.”
I was having a conversation with a friend last week and I was telling her that I submitted my particular “struggle of the week” to God repeatedly, maybe even on the hour. However, I felt cheated in a way. I mean, wasn’t God supposed to answer or give me some peace and free me from the frustration I was feeling? But then it hit me. I just kept talking and talking and talking to God. And that’s a great thing. It’s beautiful to continue to submit your heart and its desires to God. The thing is, we have to remember that if we want an answer, we have to take the time to listen. We also have to recognize that there is no formula.
The struggle is part of the journey and we just have to accept it even when we feel we’ve learned the lessons we’re supposed to learn. That struggle gives glory to God and continuing to grapple makes those lessons less transient and more permanent. We have a deeper relationship with what we’ve learned when we’ve had to continually “fight the fight”. Patience is not my strong suit so I reluctantly acknowledge that I think the answer to “Now what?” is “Listen. Wait. Watch. Keep struggling.”