For any of you who have thought about the “practicality” of living together or debated how ready you are for marriage, I think this post is a great reminder that you can’t control for everything. At some point, you have to take a risk and you just have to move forward. That’s not the “end all” answer for every situation, but I feel this post is a good reminder of what’s important.
I met my wife on eHarmony. I was a morning rock DJ in Delaware, she was living in Maryland and finishing up her degree. I drove two and a half hours to pick her up for our first date. I spent most of my bi-weekly paycheck on tickets to a dinner theater in Baltimore. The rest went to gas and tolls.
And that’s the way it would go for the next year and a half (minus the dinner theater part). Once a week, I’d spend money I didn’t have and drive the 260 mile roundtrip to see the love of my life. Sometimes I’d sleep for a few hours in the guest room at her mom’s house, waking up at 2AM to head back to the coast for my 5:30AM radio show.
I was very tired back then.
Lord, was I broke.
She’d take turns driving my way, burning gas she couldn’t afford to burn and…
This post really resonated with me so I’d like to share it. Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or married; I think we can all benefit from the message of friendship as a key component of marriage. Take a look, it’s a good read 🙂
In a recent conversation with some friends, I related a story about a young woman whose conversation I was unable to block from my hearing. I complained and rolled my eyes at how young and immature she is and the way in which she is playing into society’s supposed promotion of women’s liberation. I couldn’t stand the way in which she talked about her multiple boyfriends and casual relationships as if it was the most enlightened way of life. Because the truth is that it’s unnatural. You can’t pretend that sex means nothing and that living a promiscuous life doesn’t do any damage. As I told my friends about this instance, my tone was annoyed. But I think the truth is that I was disturbed and later God pointed out that instead of judging this girl, I should be praying for her. I should be considering that very damage in her life and hoping that it can be repaired rather than condemning her.
Thank you Matt Walsh for your perspective – a much needed one. And I’m so glad that Jeremy reached out to you for advice on abstinence in today’s world. However, my one point of contention is to not make the mistake I did. Although I am equally unhappy about what that health teacher had to say, it’s also not right to condemn her. We have a responsibility to speak truth into people’s lives but not to judge them. That’s for God to do. Obviously, this young woman has some misguided sense of reality and a true disconnect from much-needed wisdom. Unfortunately, she’s in an influential position and could do some serious damage with the kids she’s teaching. I think she’s wrong but instead of condemning her, let’s pray for her and others like her who desperately need to know the real truth. God loves her, the young woman I mentioned, and Jeremy equally.
From my inbox, an email from a high school student named Jeremy:
“Dear Matt, first I want to say I really like your blog. One of my teachers actually mentioned it in class once after you wrote something (she didn’t mention it in a good way lol) and I went and looked you up so I’ve been following you ever since. I know you get so much email so I don’t expect you to see this but in case you do I wanted to get your opinion about something. You write a lot about relationships and everything so I’m wondering if you think abstinence should be encouraged in school?
Reason I’m asking is because we are doing our sex ed lessons in health class now and the topic has come up. Yesterday my health teacher was talking about safe sex and someone mentioned abstinence and she said it wasn’t realistic…
Ever thought about all those unhappy married couples you know? I think we’ve all thought about how to not end up growing apart in marriage as so many people do. I was so encouraged to read this post simply because I know my “fears” are not just mine, but that many others are thinking about them as well.
Truth be told, I was horrified at the thought that my last post was published just a few hours shy of… gulp… two weeks ago. By posting now I’m avoiding hitting that terrible milestone that no bonafide writer should ever have to face!
Last night I laid down in bed, exhausted after a long day of work. Do you ever notice when you’re most exhausted — physically, mentally and even emotionally — is the precise time your mind decides to run faster than Usain Bolt at the Olympics?
<< This guy. What a joker!
That’s exactly how I found myself last night. Exhausted to no end, yet frantically running through a list of to-dos and almost-dones and nearly-theres and oh-crap-I-forgot-to-do-that-one! So, I decided to shut my mind up by watching a quick episode of New Girl on my phone. And, of…
Ever gone through seasons of just giving up on even thinking about your love life? I know I have. This is a great post simply because of its vulnerability. Sometimes you just need to hear that someone else gets it. Take a look!
The last 12 months have been whirlwind of engagements, proposals, bridal showers, and weddings. Last month, I attended the first of 4 recent/upcoming weddings in my circle of close friends. The next is that of my closest friend at the end of this month and then two more will take place next summer.
I honestly could not be happier about these weddings. I feel so incredibly blessed to see all of these girls end up with husbands/fiances who know God personally and who truly treasure them.
But at the same time, I find I’ve come right up against that cliched experience of being one of the last single ladies. And what they say is true – Somehow, being surrounded by all those weddings makes your own desire for marriage all the more acute. When all of your close friends start heading down the aisle and you’re still on the lookout, the irritation and longing of waiting seems to hang even heavier on your shoulders.
I don’t think I could identify more with the title of this post, which is why I want to share this article from Single Roots. It’s an important reminder that God calls us to look beyond ourselves and the desires we want fulfilled right now. Take a look!
I survived a miniature family reunion this weekend in New Jersey. Relatives gathered from near and far — including both coasts of Canada, Texas, Argentina, and The Garden State itself. We spent several days riding the magical carousel of eating and talking, eating and talking, eating and talking. Conversations effortlessly (and loudly) filled every empty space with multiple languages, laughter and much-needed reminiscence.
On my final night there, we ordered a few pizza pies from a local joint and gathered around the table for — wait for it — more eating and talking. (If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, right?) I found myself in a particularly heartfelt, honest conversation with my brother, his wife, and my cousin, Daniel. We talked about faith and how sometimes it’s hard to believe in God, sometimes it’s hard to understand his ways. We each had areas of faith we struggled with, yet all…
Just because we’re Christian doesn’t mean we don’t struggle with sexual desire. It’s not something to be ashamed of; yet often in Christian circles, conversation about desire focuses on the rules of waiting and staying pure.
I think Joy Eggerichs does a great job talking about sex and waiting in a way that acknowledges natural desires. One point I found especially relevant was that waiting is also a form of being disciplined and practicing loyalty/faithfulness to our future spouse whether they are currently in our lives or not. Take a look at a few of the posts she’s done on this topic.
When to quite online dating? I think Ruth gives sound advice here. Also, remember that God will bring you to your mate in his time in his own way. So, don’t worry about unsubscribing because you think the minute you log off you’ll missthe ONE. He’s got you covered and he can take care of introducing you.
A male reader recently wrote me to ask: When is the right time to quit online dating? Using my Sherlock Holmes powers of deduction, I can assume he hasn’t met the woman of his dreams. If he were questioning whether to continue online dating even after meeting his wife, we’d have bigger fish to fry. No, this reader — like so many of us, including myself — is simply frustrated with not finding that special someone, and is questioning whether to keep up an online dating subscription. Valid question. Notebooks open, pencils sharpened… let’s dive in.
As you know, I’m a big proponent of online dating. I’ve tried it, I’ve enjoyed it, I’ve been matched with some great men. On the other hand, I’ve tried it, I’ve hated it, I’ve been matched with some real freakazoids. But, come on, that’s the nature of dating in general, not just online dating…